some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
