Screwed.edu
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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