This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
