over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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