do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
