she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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