guys are not supposed to queef...right?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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