It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
