well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
