i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I fill condoms, not promises.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
