Even the bartender felt bad for me
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
