god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
