We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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