I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
