I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
