I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
