There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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