Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
How does one acquire holy water?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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