Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
