You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
