I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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