dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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