I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
