haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
it was like eating out sand paper
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
