thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
