hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
this is an emotional support booty call
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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