I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize