Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
