woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize