I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
