she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
