and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize