I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
