people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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