we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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