3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
