3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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