If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
