He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
