he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Life without a bra equals bliss.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize