therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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