They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
my sisters under your porch take her home
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
