You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
