I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
