i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
