She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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