no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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