You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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