May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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