I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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