Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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