Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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