I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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