Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
