I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
