apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
