My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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